@TumbIrHumor lmaoooooo
@JllyJllyFish How dare room service question “how many people” I need 8 mimosas for 🙄
How dare room service question “how many people” I need 8 mimosas for 🙄
- @JllyJllyFish
funnytweeter.comYou Might Also Like
@TumbIrHumor 
@Carbosly It’s a plant shaped like an egg.
EGGPLANT!
It’s a place where we make fire.
FIREPLACE!
Diving in the sky.
SKYDIVING!Humans are creative.
@JasonLight73 Duck you AutoCorrect! You Blimb! I’m way more BadApps than you make me out to be! You Ducking piece of shed..BuckFace Toothless Bastilleday!
@Mr_Kapowski *wears a tuxedo tshirt to interview as a joke*
McDonald’s Manager: Oh wow, are you from corporate?
@IndigoCheese I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND FIND YOU and cuddle you softly.
@ShrinkMedia If I throw my son a baseball, he drops it. A football, he fumbles. But if I toss him a cell phone, my man has a sick one handed, no look.
@CrazyClarine After Paris my Airbnb host tried to say I stained her sheets & headboard w/ hair dye, but the gag is I don’t wear hair to bed.
@TheBoydP Weighing yourself is like the sex. It’s always best if you get naked first…
@iwearaonesie She said, “Are you even listening to me? This is important!”
I said, “I don’t know, pizza?”And that’s how the fight started
@Matt_The_1st “You should only have to tell them once”
– People with no children