@pakalupapito
@xLiserx
It’s October: For everyone’s safety, keep your blonde haired children away from all corn mazes. Do not let them congregate.
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@xLiserx
@Tommytoughstuff
ME: (in prison) Come on man! I know you can bust us out of here!
KOOL-AID MAN: *closes his bible and looks up* Iβm not about that life anymore.
@Huntermoore
Everyone knows if you see a white guy with dreads you punch them in the face
@ElleOhHell
Jared Leto’s primary preparation for his role as the Joker was changing his middle name to Stil
@alexmyth_design
[enter password]
“dog”
[password must be longer]
“dachshund”
@Skoog
shaggy: i can’t believe we ate all the chocolate scoob
scooby:
shaggy: scoob?
@johnbcrist
I just texted a friend a super hilarious meme and all he did was give it a thumbs up. I’ve never been more angry.
@TheMichaelRock
Me: Someone broke into the business next door last night.
Coworker: Wasn’t the building alarmed?
Me: Buildings don’t get scared.
CW…..
@blessedtings
my retainer gives me the weirdest lisp
@Donna_McCoy
I keep trying to lose this last 180 pounds but he refuses to leave.