@TheBoydP: How late at night does it have to be before you can call it a snack and not another meal?
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@iwearaonesie: me: How long are you going to keep throwing that in my face?! Netflix: Because you watched "The Wedding Planner"
@Sara_Rose_G: When I was younger I also blamed Jewish people for all my problems and thought they were part of a conspiracy to control and ruin my life. Turns out they were just being good parents.
@PJTLynch: Hospitals make mistakes with newborns, so before bringing yours home, check by rubbing its belly. If it curls in and bites you, that’s a cat