@Eden_Eats

How long are you supposed to rest in between sets at the gym?

Please say like 5 months?

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@Cpin42

A priest, a rabbi, and a duck walk into a bar. All three of them are Scarlett Johansson.

@molly7anne

Imagine going to the gym and there’s someone on the treadmill on all fours galloping

@sofarrsogud

DENTIST: Looks like somebody has a sweet tooth.

ME: Lol no, that’s just a skittle that got wedged up there.

@LuvPug

*posts selfie with full makeup and 3 filters*

Caption:
I’m so sick, I feel like dog crap & I look sooooo gross

@iwearaonesie

niece: Diamond earrings!?
[flashback to me, drunk, wrapping presents]
me: Oh shit

@ohmygrapeness

One of the few joys in my life is when my kids step on their own Lego.