@CelebrityChez: How long are you supposed to wait before you unpause the tv after your wife tells you she wants a divorce?
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@Brianhopecomedy: When I get a little tipsy I like to go to a random neighbourhood, knock on the door and say, "Sarah Connor?".
@MichaelaOkla: Sure you can call me lazy but do you know how many days I HAVE gotten out of bed? Thousands
@SatansTongue: *at a concert* ARE YOU GUYS READY TO ROCK (Crowd) "YEAAAAH" LETS DO THIS HIT IT *30 second ad plays first*