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@5hael: How long do you have to wait between naps?
@WittySassBasket: My auto reply to texts:
I would love to, but I have to [verb] a [noun] .
@BestWorstAdvice: Roosters are just edible alarm clocks
@tastefactory: I have a clear conscience until a police car pulls behind me. Then I'm like "OH GOD WHAT IF I MURDERED SOMEONE DID I MURDER SOMEONE"
@xoCAMILLAxo: I thought air was free until I bought a bag of Lay's Potato Chips!
@doktorj: Adult me is pretty pissed that you can't learn to dance perfectly in the span of an 80's montage.