If you watch Scooby-Doo backwards its about some kids helping a business owner enter a costume contest then minding their own business.
How long does Chewbacca take to shampoo his hair?
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Not to brag, but I don’t even need alcohol to make really bad decisions.
I haven’t asked any of my coworkers what they’re doing for Thanksgiving bc I treat people the way I want to be treated.
“ONLY 90s KIDS WILL GET THIS” I say loudly as I gesture towards my crotch
FIRMS YOU’VE NEVER HEARD OF OFFERING SERVICES YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND AT PRICES THEY REFUSE TO DISCUSS.
Can’t.. arguing with someone who thinks phone internet and internet internet are two different internets.
[working on a car]
me: this isn’t as easy as I thought
boss: get that desk off there
I date men whom have their life paths laid out firmly and don’t waver.
Yes, their paths are Psycho and Socio, but consistency is admirable.
I wish the girls who rejected me in high school could see how many Pokémon I’ve caught.