@TheBoydP

How many colors and shades is it okay to just call white?

Men: 58

Women: 1

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@JJSummertime

My kid found a Disney movie marathon on tv and I found Captain Morgan in the freezer. Life is about balance.

@BillMc7

Been coughing all day. Can’t seem to stop. Guess I should go see a movie.

@thewritertype

Cutting your own hair is a great thing to do in lockdown, because it can be fun and creative, it saves you money, and it ensures you definitely won’t want to leave the house for several weeks.

@Real_Dick_Head

Establish dominance by sitting close to the buffet and growling every time someone walks up to get food.

@ConcernedMom420

Being dark skinned is a CHOICE. In just a few years, through prayer, celebrity Beyonce is almost completely white. You can change too.

@dorsalstream

[being interviewed from a lily pad in a fetid bog] I mean, if you think about it who hasn’t lied to a witch at some point?

@Connan22

Rule: Grown men should not use “lol” in a convo with another male.

@VodkaThursday

What I learned from watching Star Trek: Nothing. I’ve never watched Star Trek. I am popular with friends. We don’t do that.

@briangaar

I’m just looking for a woman who is smart, funny & can drive a getaway car tomorrow morning at 8