Mispronouncing words is my Ukulele’s Heel.
How many lost cats walk by the telephone pole with their missing flier on it? Just another reason to teach your cat to read.
You Might Also Like
I love wikipedia
🎶 I’m a cat, boy / in a sealed box I hide / I’m Wanted / dead and alive!
– Bon Schröedi
According to legend, if you see a spider on Halloween, it’s actually the spirit of a loved one watching over you. So I guess if you see a ghost on Halloween, it’s actually a spider. Confusing but good information to have on hand.
Pelican: OMG she is gorgeous
Water buffalo: Who?
P: That beautiful flamingo over there.
WB: Go talk to her.
P: She’s way out of my league, I don’t think I can.
WB: What do I always tell you Gary? You’re a Pelican…
WB/P: …not a Pelicant.
FRIENDS reunion (2016)
RACHEL: [texting from bar] sry smthg came up
CHANDLER: [texting from home] same… work
JOEY: [in LA] wait THIS friday?
*Leans head up to wife as I’m dying*
Me: My only regret is…
Me: …not having something cooler to say as I die.
Breakup? I’m sorry no.
You’re not finished being in love with me yet.
Big day! I’ve decided to forgive the woman who told me I looked tired at a party three years ago.
I wish they’d just come up with a smoke detector that stops beeping when I yell “alright!”.