*ex-Olive Garden server shoveling dirt into a fresh grave*
Tell me when.
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On the way in a fox ran across the road ahead of me…I slowed down pretty quick cuz i knew a bunch of English dudes on horses were next…
The interview was going great until my puppet started screaming
my biggest wish is that someday a bunch of people will say wow money really changed her
“Tens of Thousands of Ants Killed”, reads the headline of Ant Daily newspaper every single day. It is hard to be an ant.
I never wish death upon anybody who wrongs me.
I wish sudden, explosive diarrhea while on a date
Much more satisfying.
[Talking Heads GPS]
YOU MAY FIND YOURSELF HEADING NORTH ON MAIN STREET. AND YOU MAY ASK YOURSELF HOW DID I GET HERE. AND YOU MAY TELL YOURSELF I NEED TO MAKE A U-TURN.
*popular kid is struggling in class
*gets a tutor to help
My favorite part of The Nun Is when the priest goes “You’re gonna need a bigger nun.”
I have my hesitations about Paradise City if the first thing you brag about is the color of the grass.