@Home_Halfway

“How much for this melted ghost?”
Sir that’s a bed sheet
“You have a lot of them! And they’re packaged? IS THIS GHOST HELL”
This is a Macys

“How much for this melted ghost?”
Sir that’s a bed sheet
“You have a lot of them! And they’re packaged? IS THIS GHOST HELL”
This is a Macys

- @Home_Halfway

You Might Also Like

@rablivingstone

In some societies it’s considered rude to put post-it notes on people’s heads in the doctor’s surgery with your guess what’s wrong with them

@ChaseMit

“We’re not so different, you and I,” Mitt Romney said to a stack of white printer paper.

@dumbbeezie

I hang crystals in my window as a warning to other crystals

@HelloCullen

Maybe print wouldn’t be dying if they still employed tough dirty children to yell at me to read all about it

@NYC_Blonde

Tall girls might get modeling contracts but I can still ask for the high school student discount.

@peteec

BlackBerry’s are great phones to have if you’re time traveling to 2005 and don’t want people to know you’re from the future.

@CornOnTheGoblin

[God wakes up] oh man i am hungover, what’d i do last night?
[sees that goats have the ability to scream now] haha oh yea

@VaguelyFunnyDan

A gorgeous woman’s been staring me down from across this cafe for an hour. The wildly handsome man directly behind me must be super jealous.