@Tharin_P: How often do I think about Keira? Knightley.
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@druuuck: BOSS: it says here that you're too sexy for your shirt. Is that a typo? ME: *doing my little turn on the catwalk* I'm also good with Excel
@WheelTod: *hijacks plane *kills pilot Me *turning to friend: "OK. Now fly this thing!" Friend: “I can't fly a plane” Me: “But you told me you were a master of the skies!” Friend: “No. Master of *disguise*” Me: “Then why the heck are you dressed as a pilot!... Ah OK I get it now.”
@NoBadHairDays2: A friend asked me how much I spend on a bottle of wine. My response: Oh, about 20 minutes.