I’m no kind of intellectual, but my sister-in-law asked if “Edgar Allen Poe wrote the Romeo and Juliet book” and my kids share that family’s genes.
How to flirt:
2. Apply lip gloss
3. Look down coyly
4. Realize you applied concealer
5. Fall off barstool
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Asked a girl what I had to do to get her, she said, “GET LOST!”
So I stared…
Realising she wasn’t saying more, I asked, “which season?”
CNN reporting that CNN will be reporting something on CNN.
Tune in to CNN for all of the up-to-the-minute stuff CNN is reporting.
Amazon: your package will be delivered on Wednesday
me: WHEN IS THAT
Me pretending I’m a dog to trick the coronavirus
Me: BABE HAVE YOU SEEN MY..
M: How did you..
W:*reads note* Dear sober me, fridge.
How did anybody express anger before the invention of the caps lock key?
*getting caught filling up neighbor’s trash can*
Omg Karen, I just looove your trash can! Where did you get it?
1) “Obamas spying on you.”2) “Eh. Cost of being free!”1) “Obama wants to give you healthcare.”2) “WHO THE HELL DOES HE THINK HE IS?”
What if Aliens don’t want to visit us because they’re all women and they want us to make the first move.