How to make the World Cup more exciting:
Refs are on stilts
The ball screams when kicked
Kissing is legal
1 player gets to use a car

You Might Also Like


what did president abe lincoln call his journal?

…his lincoln logs


Christian Bale named his son Burrito Bale when he could have named him Taco Bale. I want that noted the next time the conversation comes up about who’s the best Batman.


[iphone vibrates]
3yo: daddy someone is texting you

[landline phone rings]
3yo: what is that sound?



what it means: work from home
what my brain sees: what fthe hell?


Dating tip: Men find mysterious woman alluring, so keep the spark alive by occasionally acting like a lunatic possessed by the devil.


Doritos has a new snack called “Taco Explosion” so I’m suing Frito Lay for stealing my term for what occurs an hour after eating Taco Bell.