@ShrugLord: How will the whales ever evolve if we keep pushing them back in the water?
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@alexlumaga: Him: I got a 69 on my test Me: Nice Him: I bet you don't even know why people say that Me: *hoping it’s because 69 is the sum of sums of the divisors of the first 9 positive integers* because 69 is the sum of sums of the divisors of the first 9 positive integers Him: Lucky guess
@iwearaonesie: wife: Where's the food? [flashback to me waving at a dog and forgetting to stop at the second window to pick it up] me: Dammit
@JB4Realz: WIFE: What the...? ME: I'm teaching him to play piano. W: You idiot! M *covering chicken's ears*: Not in front of Johann Sebastian Bock-Bock