@AndyAsAdjective: "how'd your football team football today?" those footballers footballed quite well…really good footballin'

@CelticMoonDance: I'm beginning to question your proclamation of your "spiritual gifts". You are about as intuitive as my autocorrect.

@Donna_McCoy: Cosmetic surgery is a great way to spend your life savings and end up looking like a surprised owl.

@BillArrundale: Tell a woman she has cute kids and she's all proud. Whisper it to her and she calls the cops.

@SonOfCha: I saw a commercial on Animal Planet where animals were talking & that's all well & good but they totally got the giraffe's accent wrong.