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@CherBear162

I can’t bend my pinky without my ring finger bending as well..is this normal?

Let’s hear your results ’cause I know you just tried it.

@inthefade

what idiot named it jurassic world instead of parks and rex

@GringoBrulee

My first kid will be named Gotham. That way when I have to get up in the middle of the night when they’re crying I can say “Gotham needs me”

@causticbob

Failed my Politics exam. “Describe the role that India plays in the modern world”.

Apparently “Tech Support” is not the correct answer.

@JediGigi

Dating Profile

Sex: Probably

Favorite Food: Yes

Favorite Movie: Star Wars

Favorite Book: LOLZ

@RyanAndrewMitch

I only accept chocolate chip cookie bribes, THE SOFT ONES CHRISTY, NOT THE GARBAGE YOU GAVE ME.

@TheWeirdWorld

I wonder how many animals we had to ride before we discovered that horses were cool with it.

@ibid78

“Ok last interview question. Biggest weakness?”
“People say I’m too hospitable.”
“I see. So should I stop sitting on your lap?”
“Your call.”