If I could choose my own superhero origin story I’d be bitten by a radioactive serotonin
You Might Also Like
Glad my dog is warning me about the child walking down the street catching snowflakes on his tongue. He seems sketchy.
Worst thing about visiting an art gallery is when my 10 year old nephew yells ‘who arted’ and i feel i failed as i should’ve thought of that joke
HER: What are you doing with the Tupperware?
ME: [filling container] The sign says ‘All You Can Eat’, it doesn’t specify when
“I’m old.” -everyone over the age of 18
I don’t really have a “blood type.” I think all bloods can surprise you if you just give them a chance.
Don’t be alarmed when you’re knocking on the Gates of hell and the devil doesn’t answer….He is dealing with me.
[walks into my bedroom to find my sister having sex with my bf]
SERIOUSLY YOU GUYS I CAN’T BELIEVE UR DOING THIS TO ME THAT’S WHERE I EAT!!!
Why is millennial humor so weird, why can’t they do normal humor like about a coyote trying to use a rocket launcher to kill a bird
Yes, but it was never about money