Why can’t the T-Rex clap it’s hands? Because it’s extinct.
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Facebook definitely needs to change their name. Pretty sure books aren’t supposed to make you dumber.
Fun Fact: I love it when Americans whose Great Great Great Great Great Great Great Grandfather emigrated from Ireland say “I’m Irish”. No.
I’m not sure if this woman in the Starbucks line ahead of me is ordering a drink or casting a spell
Oh man almost forgot the trash
*takes trash out, a nice little sushi place*
This is great
*sees wife there with the recycling*
WHAT THE HELL
If people winked in real life as much as they do on the Internet, the world would be about 542.67% creepier.
Snakes are terrifying because they can’t trip and fall over shit. No creature should possess such power.
I threw out all the clothes that no longer fit and now I’m a nudist.
It seems like every time I consider arson, the price of gas goes up.
My favorite thing about babies is that none of them are mine.