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@itsAndoh

Improve a famous quote by adding or replacing a word with tacos.

Only a life lived for tacos is a life worthwhile. — Albert Einstein

@flashember

[Courtroom]
Lawyer: It wasn’t the fall that hurt you?
“No sir, it was…THE GROUND!”
*courtroom erupts*
*handcuffs are thrown on the ground*

@JeffreyCook

A friend just texted me from a trans-Atlantic flight saying folks are on their hands and knees looking for not one, but THREE missing cats on-board.

Just thought everyone on this website would enjoy that

@AaronFullerton

“Honey, remember our first date?”
“Awh, are you planning something for Valentine’s?”
“No, I forgot my password. It’s the security question.”

@elle91

“I’m going to make a great mother one day” I whisper to myself as I catch my burrito mid-fall and only a single bean spills out

@UnFitz

For a final ironic twist, I’ve left instructions to bury me in activewear.

@badbanana

Let’s begin by pushing a Nickleback album onto every ISIS phone.

@sarbeaaaar

MY DENTIST ASKED HIS ASSISTANT TO SUCTION (THE WATER OUT OF MY MOUTH)BUT I THOUGHT HE WAS TALKING TO ME SO I SUCKED HIS FINGER. IM MORTIFIED