According to my Ex, we only had 2 problems:
2. Not her.
Hubs and I have fought so much lately I’ve lost 10 lbs. I thought about leaving him, but I’d like to lose another 10 lbs first.
You Might Also Like
“Describe yourself in one word.”
As he stealthily slid the paper with my balance on it, I nodded at my bank teller for protecting my 12.03$ from the 2 old women behind me.
I warned everyone that I take charades seriously and now three people are crying
“I like Trump because he isn’t a politician.”
Right, because whenever my toilet breaks I call my electrician.
I love it when the doctor’s office asks me if I’ve been out of the country like I’m super rich or have Ebola.
Drugs are never the answer kids. Unless the question is “why have you been checking under the carpet for lizards for 3 days straight?”
ALL OF THE ANIMALS ARE TALKING THIS IS THE BEST ACID EVER LOL
My husband is obsessed with keeping our new car in pristine condition, so I carry a little vial of glitter with me at all times in case he pisses me off.