Hubs: Ok boys, pick a number 1-4

3 year old: Lion Gaurd!

5 year old: 5!

So yes, homeschooling is going quite well.

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If I had to list one thing I’m truly outstanding at I think it would be ripping open resealable bags so they are no longer sealable.


Asked my Ouija board if I was getting laid tonight & the pointer keeps gliding back & forth between the H & the A.

It’s been over an hour.


me: all I know is that to me, you look like you’re having fun, open up your lovin’ arms, watch out here I come

other kids: ok no, you’re not allowed to play red rover anymore


Believe it or not I’m listening to the Final Countdown in the grocery store. Now you’re hearing it too.


I can undo a bra with two fingers and no eyes but can’t tie a tie with both hands and a 6 minute video tutorial.


Marry a man who surrounds himself with good weather and can provide good weather for you and your children.