The D word that everyone’s been feeling at work is depression. I guessed the wrong word, apparently.
Aaaaand there’s HR calling me. Brb.
Huffington Post says all that passive aggressive behavior can harm your marriage.
In other obvious news, water is wet and the sun is hot.
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Billboards never give helpful advice like “hey you’re about to walk into work with your fly down”.
I got kicked out of Monochromes Anonymous for using colourful language.
A book commits suicide every time you watch a reality show.
once when I was at work I missed like 30 calls from my boyfriend & a text saying it was an emergency.
when I called him back the emergency was that fraiser’s son was goth in the episode he had just watched.
My 8yo is watching a video of a guy watching a video of another guy flipping water bottles. Please pray for me during this difficult time.
Tomb = Toom
Womb = Woom
Bomb = Boom
[Ancient Egypt job centre]
– How do you spell that?
“Reed comb water Ankh, bendy straw water shitting priest”
Why did they call it “All Dogs Go To Heaven” and not “Hell Hath No Furry”?
Wife: *falls in volcano*
Me: You ok, honey?
Wife: Ya. Can you toss me a blanket?