@illuminatedwndr

“Huh?” – Wonder Woman

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@Gupton68

Thought for the day:

Shouldn’t you really have more than one thought each day?

@2tickytacky

I walked briskly to the nearest safe haven as I was being chased by the hood on my jacket.

@TheBoydP

“Why put a baseball bat up when you can just lay it down on a stair in the middle of the stairway? What could go wrong?”

~My son apparently

@aotakeo

me: sweet chainmail

knight: thanks tell six of your friends or I’ll kill you

@HousewifeOfHell

[At historic site]
Guide: Questions?
Me: What’s the wifi password?
G: I meant about 19th century life.
M: Oh….Dost thou have thy password?

@liv_thatsme

me: i don’t get why no one falls in love with me

person: wanna go on a date?

me: no

@Nickadoo

I’m less upset with Lance Armstrong lying about taking performance-enchancing drugs than I am at Oprah for lying about retiring.

@chopper4jk

I got new neighbors today, I hope they like my music as much as the last 9 families did.