Judging by the amount of times I accidently cut myself on sharp objects it’s probably just as well real lightsabers aren’t available yet.
humans: lets invent computers so they can do work for us and we can be free to see our families or write poems or whatever
also humans: actually if you dont have a job society will murder you it turns out
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[ riding into battle ]
YOU GUYS BETTER NOT HURT MY HORSEY
regardless means without regard
irregardless means the same as regardless except you never had any English classes
date: [walking out of the theater after seeing happy feet] that was so cute
me: [has a foot fetish] it was fine
That awkward moment when you’re in bed & go to take a sip of your drink but don’t feel like doing a sit up and start waterboarding yourself
Sleep is basically free drugs, so people who think you need less sleep are narcs
*gets in the bus*
*Brings out earphones*
Before you get married ask yourself: is this the person you want to watch stare at their phone the rest of your life?
Getting white carpet installed, then inviting everyone over for a spaghetti sauce and red wine party.