@AnitaHelmet
@JamesonN7 I used to have poor judgement before Twitter, now I have poorer judgment
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@JamesonN7 
@aveuaskew ” I made my famous dip for the office party”
You’re a regular Abe Lincoln.
“But he wasn’t a chef”
Exactly
@JustDontBugMe Job: something you do to make enough money to buy three avocados at one time.
@Dutch_50 Hey, I’m human. If you cut me do I not bleed? If you cut me a slice of pizza do I not eat?
@neiltyson #WhenIWasYourAge: We had to open all doors by ourselves. None of them knew we were coming.
@_elvishpresley_ Vin Diesel: i got a movie idea
producer: great
Vin Diesel: so there’s these cars
producer: go on
Vin Diesel: they’ll be fast
producer: can they also be…furious?
Vin Diesel: i dont see why not
producer: let’s make fifty
@OneFunnyMummy Mo’ money mo’ problems might be true, but I’d still like to find out for myself.
@coolauntV there are some wounds only potatoes can heal
@BoomBoomBetty But have you tried acting like a cicada and screaming nonstop until someone has sex with you?
@papasuncle So You Think You Can Peel A Kiwi