Husband: “I read that divorce rates will increase because of pandemic.
Do you …

Me: “Yes, I want a divorce.”

Husband: …think it’s true.”

Me: …
Husband: …

You Might Also Like


If by “chivalry is dead” you mean “I put my coat in a puddle for my wife so she’s making me do laundry for a week” then yes chivalry is dead


Someone on the radio said Britain will remain calm about the Coronavirus.
People phoned the police when KFC ran out of chicken


Cannibals don’t drink coffee.

They have a cup of Joe instead.


Going to a wedding today:

Me: Do I look ok boys?
6: You look fine.
9: You look wow.

Clearly I have work to do with the little one.


[Dad jokes anonymous]

“…and I’m clean 30 days”

Guy from back: HI CLEAN 3O DAYS I’M DAD



This is your pilot speaking. We’ll be taking off shortly once our flight crew confirms that this is, in fact, an airplane


*gets taste of own medicine*

Yep this is my medicine


I’d pay someone to push me out of pictures when I’m drunk.