You, me, a bottle of wine, soft music, a picnic basket, a strange growl, a bear, a tree, coyotes, a rescue chopper, a hospital, dessert.
Husband: Where is the candy?
Me: What candy?
Husband: The Easter candy.
Me: *stuffing Peeps in my ears as earplugs* I’m going to bed- you need to figure this out.
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[1st Row at Beyoncé Concert]
Beyoncé: Who run da world?! *points mic at me*
ME: [having briefly heard the song once before] …squirrels?
DR DOG: *applying a cast to a broken bone* Are you sure you don’t just want me to cut it off?
Talking about me behind my back? Good. My ass likes attention.
You can’t tell me what to do, you’re not my dog
Remember that time you confused a life lesson for a soulmate.
Sounds are hear more. Words is type now.
Whoever named a pack of Hyenas a Cackle should name more groups of animals.
The referee has thrown a yellow flag. A red flag, a green, an orange, a blue. I’m now being told a magician has run on the field.