You Might Also Like

@just1fool

Who decided to call it a proctologist and not an analyst?

@StellaRtwot

When I hear “This call is being monitored for quality assurance” I think “Cool, let’s see how bad this person wants their job.”

@fro_vo

Pronouns:
He
She
It
You
We
They

Amateurnouns:
Whoozits
Whatsername
Thingamajig
*vague pointing*
Whatchamacallit
Dudes

@robdelaney

For all the bad things that happened this year I sure did get fat.

@AristotlesNZ

9yo: *struggling for 10 mins trying to start peeling a banana* How do you get into these!?

Yo, evolution: You missed one..

@WheelTod

The wife & I fought last night. Saying things that can’t be taken back. Like perishable goods. Baby food. DVDs with broken seals. Underwear.

@feverboner

I’m watching a French show and the guy says, “oui, non, potato,” and the subtitles translate it to, “yes, no, maybe.”

@TheBoydP

Show me someone who says they like all types of music and I will show you someone who has never been on hold before a conference call.

@Carbosly

Me: *dies*

My kids: *taking out Ouija board*

H-I
M-O-M
W-H-A-T
A-R-E
Y-O-U
M-A-K-I-N-G
F-O-R
D-I-N-N-E-R?