Note to self: I am a note
I adopt cats because I can’t have any of my own.
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I want to die from natural causes like being murdered by a sunset.
oh. my god
Me: There is a small tree on fire.
911: Could you describe it?
Me:Picture shrubbery…now picture it engulfed in flames.
I’m just a girl standing here wishing I was as thin as my patience
Roses are red
Love has many factors
Maybe Aliens don’t visit us because they’re all women and they want us to make the first move.
GOD: [continuing to make humans] Make some of them think running is fun
ANGEL: This is just sick, I can’t watch this
Police: How did they break in?
Me: I have a fake garden rock w/a key inside.
Police: They found it?
Me: They threw it through the window.
[walking out of restaurant]
DATE: let’s do this again
ME: thank god I’m starving