I ain’t sayin she a gold digger, but she has a helmet with a flashlight on it, and a pick axe.

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Doc: Maam, due to the accident your daughter cant…

Mom: Cant what?!

D: She cant even. She literally cannot even.

M: *single tear falls*


Coming soon to Fox and Friends: a crime fighting duo useless at stopping mass shootings. They are THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS, Wednesdays at 9 pm.


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New evidence shows #marijuana not only helps with cancer side effects but may fight cancer itself! Oh pot, is there anything u can’t do?


The weatherman said it’s nice outside. I guess they don’t let him watch the rest of the news.