@TheBoydP: I always feel better when my doctor says something is normal for my age but then think dying will also be normal for my age at some point.
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@WilliamRodgers: "If you love something, set it free..." Unless it's a man... Cause he'll get lost... And you know he won't ask for directions...
@LHGarrett: PHIL COLLINS: Here tonight is the man who inspired my next song, "Fat Shithead Clogged My Toilet." [spotlight tracks me as I head for Exit]
@danjan13: Pancake in Spanish is panqueque, which translates back into English as *does raise the roof motion* bread whaaaat whaaaat
@NotBachibawlz: Someday astronauts will land on the sun .... Im hoping they're smart enough to do this at nighttime when it's not as hot