@joeljeffrey: I always feel ripped off when someone asks if they can "sneak by you", but then you say yes and they just walk by and aren't sneaky at all.
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@PaperWash: "Sorry I'm late" Why are there scratches all over your face? "Jujitsu training" You can scratch in jujitsu? "It's my cat's best move"
@iGreenMonk: Wife: Let's go out and have some fun tonight. Me: Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway light on.
@DillDoes: Being a worm must great. Its like "wow that dirt was great I hope there's more" and there always is