@Kamikaze_Blonde: I always imagined saving the planet would involve a silver jumpsuit and a sidekick robot, not separating glass and paper.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@le_buns: "would u like some dessert?" i ask the moose head above the fireplace "no thanks im stuffed" i reply, in a slightly deeper voice
@Mom_Overboard: guys I wanna start watching the news but I've never seen a single episode and I don't have time to watch it all before the new season starts can one of you catch me up?
@GoldenSpirals: My new washing machine plays a tune very similar to an ice cream truck when it's finished. There's no ice cream in there. I checked. Twice.
@ArfMeasures: "My friend got me a Fitbit" ME: Oh yeh, heard of them, haven't got one tho "u can buy them online" ME [whispering] u can buy friends online?