@trishm426: I always like to start an argument before a family road trip so no one speaks to me during the drive.
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@dannyboy7813: [Getting phone call from the School] Teacher: I'm afraid I have to inform you, your son was in a fight. M: Did he win? T: That's not really relevant. M: It is to the winner.
@DiscoFruit: me: *lights cig* do u smoke? girl: no, cigarettes killed my father me: oh, cancer..? her: no, an army of them, gunned him down me: wait what
@nursemella: *pops the hood* "Looks like the timing nut is gone on yer muffler belt" .. Umm r u sure you work here? *lifts eye brow, moustache falls off*