Phlebotomist: Have you had blood drawn before, sir?
Rambo: *semi-unintelligible* first, first part II, and last
I always run towards screaming. Sure, it could be a horrible murder in progress. BUT it could also be ice cream.
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If I wake and then I bake, I pray The Lord for chocolate cake. Amen.
im no good at video games
“no one is at first just give it a shot”
*presses start and mario just sits down*
If abortion is murder then are condoms kidnaping?
Karma: Do you believe in me?
Karma: How’s 2020 treating you?
I take great pride in the fact that I have told you “the stupidest thing you’ve ever heard” in more than one argument
Me: Can I get that to go?
Priest: That’s not how communion works
[Parisian restaurant, breakfast]
Me: I hear you do the best toasted Cheese & Ham here
Server: That’s a croque monsieur
M: Oh that’s a shame, I’ll have a croissant instead then please
The overwhelming majority of haunted stuff happens in hallways and stairways, which is why a studio apartment is the best choice ghost-wise.
If you don’t sit down to a nice big plate of breakfast for dinner once in a while, you’re missing out on one of the best things in life.