i imagine my dog spends a lot of time thinking about how tall i am and how great it is to have a giant as a best friend who can reach treats
I am always surprised when heavily tattooed couples have a baby and it comes out blank.
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Hey guys is your refrigerator running? Because I don’t like any of the current presidential candidates
DON’T STOP BELIEVING!
…..but feel free to be somewhat skeptical from time-to-time
Never let them see how much they hurt you. Or the gun. Definitely don’t let them see the gun.
It’s so cute when my kids grew up and moved out
“Science HAS gone too far,” I whisper, gazing out across the sea of boneless chickens slithering through the farmyard.
The Colonel laughs.
Being a parent means hiding in a closet to eat a donut so you don’t have to share.
I went to the local art museum, I really enjoyed it and took lots of pictures.
But unfortunately I’m now banned until I bring them back.
“All you need is love.”