@markydoodoo: I bet my doctor wasn't expecting to say "Sir, that is not a toy" so many times today.
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@Skoogeth: [prom night] Her: we’re finally gonna do it Me: *puts finishing touches on time machine* Her: we’re gonna kill hitler
@dave_cactus: [HONK HONK] ...one more honk and I'm gonna... [HONK] *gets out of my car* *walks to the car behind me* *feeds the driver's goose some bread*
@AlanFelyk: Her: I’m done with you and everybody who looks like you. Me: What did Wilford Brimley ever do to you?
@RunwayDan: The word "defenestration" means "to throw someone out a window." Which means this happens so often we needed a word for it.