[Picasso’s Blue Period]
Picasso: holy shit, call a gynecologist
I bet there are muppets that have thought about shanking Elmo.
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ants can carry up to 5000 times their body weight?? pfft. watch this- *goes to stomp an ant but it grabs me & slams me thru a picnic table*
Dear Couples Who Fight In Public, stop trying to whisper and would it kill you to include some backstory.
“Eat right and exercise?!?…
I dunno…seems like some kind of a scam, Doc.”
And the headline of the year goes to…
I told her love was all about sacrifice, but she still screamed when she saw the dead goat.
*gets down on 1 knee*
*puts 2nd knee down*
*lays on floor*
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
*slithers out of relationship*
I don’t trust rabbits…
Anything that’s happy with just lettuce is suspicious
“I have to eat every 7 minutes or I get cranky.”
“Ma’am, that’s not a valid reason to be excused from jury duty.”
There’s safety in numbers.
CDC: Uh, no.