@ilovepie84: I bet when David Hasselhoff gets too drunk he roams the streets screaming "KITT!" When he can't find his car.
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@rickygervais: The people who shout the loudest about their all powerful God protecting them & delivering them from any evil, also own a gun, just in case.
@Rollinintheseat: Interviewer: “Why did you leave your last job?” Me: “After coming back from vacation, all my passwords had expired. It was easier to resign than reset them.”
@drunkNnaughty: If you have to ask if it's too early to drink...you're an amateur & we can't be friends
@honzogonzo: My bank called me: "sir did you go to dominos at midnight three days in a row in Florida?" Me:....yah Bank:*long pause* "alright then"