@DurtMcHurtt: I blink one eye at a time because flying squirrels can attack at any moment.
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@: Writing tip: Read all your writing aloud to yourself, having first made a pentagram on the floor in salt. A demon should form in the pentagram. Give him your manuscript and tell him the name of your preferred publisher.
@HatfieldAnne: For two years in high school, I took guitar lessons. Something interesting I learned is that guitar resale nets a 45% loss.
@sixfootcandy: Me: Christmas is nothing but corporate greed! Mom: Would you like some more gold leaf sugar sprinkled on your cocoa? Me: Yes please.
@Black__Elvis: I used to struggle to keep food on the table until I Googled "how to get your pet turtle Charles to hold still because he's a table now."