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Amazing statistic. The new U2 album is the most deleted record in history.


Hey to all the girls with more than one person in their picture you’re making this VERY DIFFICULT.


Age 28: forgets to wash face & moisturize, wakes up w/ smudged sexy eye make-up
Age 38: forgets to wash face & moisturize, wakes up a dragon


wrestling movies: im sad and i have something to prove to my dad
actual wrestlers: my name is Nutbuster Mike and i dont care if i die


Went for a run and now I have to find a way to trade my body in for scrap


when someone pisses you off start counting down from 10. When you get to 8 punch them in the throat, they will never expect it.


I was having a perfectly lovely Wednesday until someone told me it’s Monday.


Coffee will wake you up, but have you ever tried falling down a flight of stairs?


[after sitting 21 hours for a portrait drawing]
painter: I’m done
me: ok now let’s do a silly one


I root against my college football team. That place put me $80,000 in debt. It’d be like rooting for the bank that holds your mortgage.