@ProudFFAalumni

I came, I saw, the neighbors complained.

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@fro_vo

whoever named them missiles wasn’t very optimistic

@rpbateman

Sometimes I tell myself that everything that I’ve been through in life is totally worth it. Then I laugh hysterically.

@sixfootcandy

Got my ponytail stuck in the paper shredder again.
*cancels haircut appt*

@UnFitz

Dyslexic Superbowl watchers were probably disappointed when they saw football instead of a superb owl.

@AnOrangeSNES

[Crossword]

7 across) Person you work with, 9 letters
COWORKER
21 down) Person you hate, 9 letters
COWORKER

@maughammom

Judging by all the cracking and popping noises my body makes when I work out, I’d say I’m about 74% Rice Krispies.

@MommaUnfiltered

Dear Snapchat, I don’t care what I look like as a strawberry, just give me a filter that makes me look like I showered.

@SteveDutzy

THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS TO ALL THE BROS ON INSTAGRAM WHO CAN’T AFFORD SHIRTS

@mommajessiec

Baby: *sleeps longer than expected*
Me: *checks if baby is alive*

Kid: *makes loud thud from other room*
Me: *checks if kid is alive*

Teen: *hasn’t sighed in an hour*
Me: *checks if teen is alive*