I can raise kids just fine,
but keeping plants alive that
only need to be watered once
a month is apparently
out of my reach.

You Might Also Like


Most meth cooks start by clicking on an ad to make $500-$800 a day working from home.


My husband and I have been practicing Social Distancing for 11 years now…..we got this.


I lost 7 followers today.

It’s nice to know some people are finally reading my tweets


If I was stranded on a snowy mountaintop with friends and had to resort to cannibalism, the most horrific part would be not having ketchup.


The pen is mightier than the sword. Also, parking a car in someone’s living room sends a pretty damn clear message too.


Sometimes I wonder what ever happened to people who asked me for directions.


The best thing about money is that if you give it to the right person they’ll hand you donuts.