@CroweJam: I can walk up to any dog, rub its butt and make a friend. That trick only works about half the time on people.
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@GrantTanaka: 1: ‘Twas the night before xmas, & all thru the house Dad was trashed on Grey Goose, mom spilled merlot on her blouse
@DadBits: Our 8-yr-old son announced that he is moving in with the family down the street because they have a PlayStation. My wife: “What about us? We’re your family, and we love you.” Son, enthusiastically: “We can be neighbors.”