@StephenAtHome

I can’t believe Disney didn’t call it “2 Frozen 2 Flurrious.”

You Might Also Like

@AndreTheViking

I built an electric fence around my house. My neighbour is dead against it.

@AimeeHelene1

Oh good, a gift card to Arby’s.

*waits for their birthday*
Them: Thanks Aimee for the…
*opens box*
(cat hair pasted to paper & framed)

@ClichedOut

HER: I’m an animal activist.

ME: [trying to impress] My dog does 100 push-ups a day.

@Jonesy_donkey

I’m so fancy, I pronounce the “H” in “WHISKEY”

*every single one of you just said that word out loud when you read this

@fuckfrrankk

At my funeral take the bouquet off my casket and throw it in the crowd to see who next

@rivalpunks

In middle school, I had a crush on a kid named BJ. When you write Heather loves BJ on your notebooks, you make a lot of friends.

@Chumpstring

I didn’t spend 8 years designing this hotel so I could listen to a bunch of touristy complaints about the small cameras inside the toilets.

@UnFitz

Don’t stand there judging me.
Have a seat. This could take awhile.

@karencheee

Today I watched a meteor shower until it angrily pulled the curtains closed and yelled at me to stop peeping.