@jaboukie: i can’t believe my little brother is a father we used to have to hide beans in the higher up cabinets so he wouldn’t shove them up his nose
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@roostermustache: Me: yah after the car accident i can barely raise my arm Lawyer: how high could u raise it before Me:*raises arm over head* like this high
@Chumpstring: Unfortunately a recent breakthrough in therapy means I must say goodbye to my comfort swords, my acceptance machete, and my protection bomb.
@alfageeek: 9: My room is clean. Me: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
@STOTLE: If you read the instructions carefully, the first step to making any microwavable lunch is to throw away the box and dig it out of the trash