I always try to tell myself that I don’t actually hate people as much as I say I do…and then I go to the mall.
I can’t believe they have an entire Clinic just for studying Mayo.
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Every time someone with a clown avi follows me I add another night light.
Of course I know about dates.
Each 100 gm of dates contains 75 gm of carbohydrate and 2.5 gm of protein.
They say using smaller plates will help you eat less.
It took 3 of them to hold my dinner, not sure how this is helping.
Cat 911: What’s your emergency?
Cat: I knocked everything off the tables now I’m scared!
Cat 911: Seriously?
Cat: No, LOL!
Cat 911: LOL!
I told someone I was 30 and they said “that’s okay.”
Call centre operator: “Sorry for the delay, bear with me … ”
Me: “Put the bear on, he probably knows more.”
Me: You promi—
Sergeant: Yes, yes, I promise nobody will tickle you
*crawls back up a waterslide for 2 hours* did you say “go dudette” or “no not yet”
Last night my 4yo said a prayer for all the people in the world including “Africa, Asia and Syrup.” From now on, I will be referring to Europe only as Syrup.