I can’t stand this long distance relationship anymore. Fridge, you’re coming to my room.

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Instagram now has video! I’m going to film the hell out of this salad!


The average family income has gone up 2% while the cost of living has increased 23%.

– Me explaining to my son why he can’t have a sister.


Just finished up some dusting. And by dusting I mean I blew on a shelf and then sneezed 6 times in a row.


i’m gonna go out on a limb here and say that omg this branch definitely can’t hold my weight and yep i’m going down


hey πŸ™‚ if you’re having a good day, i just want you to know that tarantulas can swim


Not entirely sure what a “propriate” is, but apparently I’m in it…


I don’t always whoop.

But when i do.. there it is


I always try to hold the door open for women I see walk by, so we can talk and get to know each other. But none of them will get in my car.


If the Zombie Apocolypse doesn’t start out like the dance portion of the Thriller video I’m going to be so pissed.