@sixfootcandy: I carry around a fog machine so I can make a dramatic entrance every time I enter a room.
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@TheHyyyype: me: [staring up at the sun, then at the sunblock in my hands, then back up at the sun, then back at the sunblock] my wife: you're wondering whether you put it on yourself or on the sun, aren't you me: look i didn't go to medical school like you did ok
@CoolCamel69: *pulls out stack of pancakes and completely stuffs mouth during interview* Nexft queffstun pleeazse "Umm. Your biggest weakness?" Panfccakes